


When the world fell apart

by Zombie280871



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, trigger warning for mentions of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombie280871/pseuds/Zombie280871
Summary: Starfire had been living everyday life with her new boyfriend Robin until one day everything went bad. Starfire is dead.... Maybe
Relationships: Raven/Starfire, Robin/Starfire
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Author's note and Disclaimer

Chapter 1 Major Authors Note Chapter Only! Skip if Desired but explains all trigger warnings and my direction.

AN: I have decided that after all these years I would read my very first Teen Titans story. Having discovered that not only did I not finish it, but I also had no real format going, it made for a very choppy and clunky reading experience that I feel did not properly portray the sad and nuanced story I was attempting. Plus, I for whatever reason, used far too many question marks. Therefore, I have decided to refurbish my original story. Some things may end up being different, and some may not. I am not entirely sure how this story will play out, but I will attempt to condense it into longer chapters. Also, I have decided so I do not get people excited only to fail, I will not post this story until it has been completed. So that is right. If you are reading this than the story is officially completed and posted.  
Also, I will be posting all Original authors notes in the chapters. I will label them as such so you know they are the original ones. I hope you enjoy and please leave me any notes or suggestions as those are what inspired me to do the reboot and I appreciate all criticism. P.S. I would hope no one is inclined to leave such deplorable comments as I received last time. This story contains many dark themes but does center around rape. Any comments glorifying this act on a real person such as myself or another commenter will not be tolerated as it was when I was younger and will be met with swift action. Also, after the story is posted if anyone has any questions or if I get enough comments I might decide to do a Q&A page update at the end of the story.  
I apologize for the lengthy AN but felt I needed to explain everything in depth. I hope everyone enjoys this story as it was truly written from my heart and personal experience. Thank you.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Original AN: This was my favorite show as a kid so I thought I would attempt a story. I love the Teen Titans and everything they stand for but I always Emotionally Connected with Starfire, which is why I will be using her as a muse for my thoughts and some of my actions after I experienced assault. I am not looking for pity but merely a way to share my story in a conducive way as well as share my thoughts and feelings surrounding that experience in the hopes that it may help others who are struggling to connect their thoughts and feelings.   
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or it’s Characters. I’m not cool enough.   
WARNING: This story will be a VERY graphic and an in depth look of the struggles of a victim of sexual assault. There will be mentions of Blood, Violence towards ones’ self and others, and possible Suicidal thoughts or actions. These themes are very real and dealt with on a regular basis. Cursing will be included as will possible trigger words. This will be an eventual Femslash but it will not start that way. I did confuse some people with that but it does start as a ROB/STAR fic and gradually become a STAR/RAE fic as the characters grow and dynamics change.  
Explanation of writing style: I am not the best writer but will do my best with formatting, spelling, and punctuation. I apologize if I make mistakes as I am truly not the best with English and feel free to correct me on any errors as to make my future writing even better. Flashbacks will begin with a label of ~Flashback~ And the sentence will look like this one. It will be italicized and in small print, not bold. I will also use the small print and italicizing to convey thoughts although they may not be labeled as such as to not breakup the story. All dialogue will be written within quotations “…” and thoughts without them. Any psychic communications with Raven will be in usual thought formatting but bold. If you have any questions feel free to PM me as I know I am making this slightly difficult but am hoping to ensure a smoother reading experience. Thank you and please enjoy!


	2. Chapter 1 The Beggining

Chapter 2 The Beginning  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or any information I may gather in regards to the Titans. I wish I was smart enough.  
Trigger Warning: Mentions of sex.  
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It had started as a normal day like all the rest. Everyone was happy and enjoying a peaceful day in Titans Tower. Crime had been slow as of late. Ever since the Teen Titans had returned from Tokyo most of the villains had either converted to their side (Jinx, Kyd Wykkid), stopped committing crimes as frequently (Mumbo, Control Freak, Fang, etc.…), or just up and vanished. One positive thing about this is that it gave the Titans the opportunity to explore interests and relationships with a newfound vigor considering much of their time was now spent in the tower. The five Titans Robin, Raven, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg have all grown since they first formed all those years ago but have kept their uniforms the same.  
Raven is a very mysterious and often monotonous Mage. She is a half demon with powers that depend on her keeping her emotions in check and a level head. Her superhero outfit is comprised mostly of dark blue colors. She wears an Indigo cloak with a hood and ankle boots of a matching color. She also wears a bluish-black long-sleeved leotard. Around her waist she wears a gold-plated belt with red gems. The same gems cover her hand and clasp her cloak together. She has short Violet hair and eyes of the same color, very pale skin almost grey giving her somewhat of a demonic appearance, and a red gem on her forehead placed over her Ajna Chakra. You can often find Raven reading a book, meditating, or enjoying tea to keep herself calm. Although you may find her to be quite sarcastic and occasionally getting excited over the mention of waffles.  
Cyborg has pretty much taken up the mantel of big brother of the Titans. He has a very loud personality but is also very kind. Blue, white, and silver metal and circuitry cover half of his body leaving the other half human. He is very tall and muscular African American male and has one eye replaced with red computer looking eye. He has no need for clothes as most of them don’t fit and most of him is metal. Granted it didn’t stop him from trying his leaders costume that one time. Cyborg also happens to have a tremendous appetite and loves most food including Pizza, Waffles, BBQ, and pretty much anything meat based. He hates Tofu which causes many arguments with his green companion. Beast Boy is most decidedly the Jokester of the bunch. Never missing an opportunity for a joke or pun even if it’s terrible, he is quite upbeat and enjoys making others laugh, unless it’s at his expense. He is sometimes seen as Dim and immature much to his annoyance. He has very amazing powers which allow him to morph into any animal, including Prehistoric and Alien (Which they discovered on Starfires home planet of Tameran). Due to the fact that he changes into animals Beast Boy is a Vegan. He eats Tofu and Soy based dishes only and constantly tries to sway the team much to the disgust of Cyborg. The biggest and most obvious trait of the changeling is his skin color which is a very light shade of green. His hair and eyes are also green though much darker in shade than his skin. He is usually seen with a smile and due to his animal nature tends to have a fang that pokes out between his lips. He has very pointed ears and is very slender in frame. Beast Boys superhero suit consist of a full body suit which is purple in the center and black for the arms and legs. He wears a silver belt around his waist and silver gloves on his hands. He wears purple and silver boots and stays green as he morphs into different animals.  
Starfire, the resident Alien of the group, is from a planet called Tameran. Starfire is most decidedly beautiful. Her long fiery red hair reaches her waist and stays straight with bangs. She has very small eyebrows almost in the shape of a comma and green eyes with light green scleras (The whites of her eyes are light green in color instead of white). She is tall with an orange skin tone and her outfit is mostly violet in color. She wears a metal belt, gauntlets, and gorget all adorned with green jewels. She wears a sleeveless crop top and miniskirt with thigh high boots showing off her midriff and upper thighs. As a Tameranean, she has a much different physiology including a long tongue and nine stomachs. Starfire is very cheerful and sweet yet tends to be naïve when it comes to Earth culture. She has many powers including Flight, Super Strength, the ability to absorb languages through lip contact, and her green ‘starbolts’ as her friends call them, which are basically just solar powered beams she can shoot from her hands and eyes from drawing in solar energy and storing it in her body. Though Tameranians do require solar energy to survive, none but Starfire and her Sister Blackfire can use the energy in such a way.   
Robin used to be Batman’s’ sidekick and is now the leader of the Teen Titans. He is very serious and focused though some call him brooding and obsessive. He is Heroic, noble, kind, selfless, and stubborn. He is very smart and agile, having trained with batman in hand to hand and weapons as well as hacking and detective skills. Though as of late he is far more relaxed with his new Girlfriend, Starfire. Most call him Boy Blunder for his failed attempts at romance and some call him traffic light due to his colorful costume. Consisting of Green tights with black ankle-high steel-toed boots, green elbow-high gloves, a short sleeve green t-shirt underneath a red armored vest with a yellow letter R inside a black circle over his left side of his chest, a yellow utility belt and a black cape with a yellow interior it certainly makes a statement. He always wears a black and white domino mask and has his black hair spiked back. He has light skin and a very athletic build. Robin cares deeply for each of his friends and is very determined to keep them safe at all costs as we’ve seen in Apprentice. He has many flaws but despite this he makes an excellent leader of the Teen Titans who he now views as family.  
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Robins’ P.O.V.  
It was a beautiful morning in Jump City and everyone had awoken early ready to seize the day. Raven had just made herself a steaming cup of Jasmine tea and has positioned herself comfortably in the corner of the living room with her nose deep in her favorite novel, The Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe. Staring attentively into a book she has most decidedly read at least a hundred times, she sips at her tea and concentrates on the literary genius. Only occasionally does she look up to raise an eyebrow or throw a sarcastic comment at the two very loud male teammates on the couch. “Can you two be any louder. I think they may have heard you back in Tokyo!” She says through clenched teeth, clearly annoyed by the antics. She sighs and tucks a lock of violet hair behind her right ear as she continues her silent endeavor. You can almost see the faint hint of a smirk play across her face as she shakes her head at the boy, she has a crush on. She may not want to admit it but everyone knows it. Well, except Beat Boy but he’s clueless.  
The two in question Beast Boy and Cyborg were currently arguing over the television. They often sat as they are now, arguing and playing video games. This video game in particular was their favorite racing game. “Sorry Rae. It’s hard for Cy to be quiet when I’m kicking his butt!” Beast Boy said excitedly. Cyborg shot a quick glare at his green companion as he retorted quickly “You wish Grass Stain! You’re about to eat my dust with Nitro!” He yelled excitedly pressing a few buttons in succession. Beast Boy could only look in a mixture of shock and horror as he saw the little blue-white ship begin to pass him. Cyborg quickly began pressing many buttons in succession as Beast Boy had his jaw drop at the new development. The little green ship on the screen struggling to catch up. “No way! This can’t be happening!” Beast Boy cried out in fear pressing as many buttons as he could. “Oh, it can, it will, and it has! Eat my dust Green Bean.” Cyborg shouted rounding another corner. Further the little blue ship went until the screen flashed Winner Player 1 Cyborg and as Cyborg looked on in excitement, he pumped his fist yelling what has become his slogan. “Boo-Yah! I won! In your face!” He shouted doing a victory dance around the couch. “Whatever…” Beast Boy huffed in frustration at the metal Titans antics. “Wanna go again?” He asked. “You know it! Best 5 outta 6!” Cyborg shouted as they dove back in shouting more and more.  
Starfire and I were talking over the breakfast I made for us. I enjoy spending some time together as our relationship is still new and despite having been on earth for 5 years now Starfire has never had an omelet, which just so happens to be my favorite breakfast. She loves learning about new things and I love teaching her about new things. She always has this gleam in her beautiful green eyes and bounces excitedly whenever I tell her I am going to have her try something new. I love teaching her about Earth culture almost as much as she loves learning about it. Her melodic laugh rings in my ears as she watches Cyborg and Beast Boy go back and forth. She turns her attention back to me almost immediately.   
“So, tell me again Boyfriend Robin?” She asks quizzically, excitement narrowly edging the questioning tone out of her voice. “This is what you call an Om-E-Late. And it is merely the eggs, with various ingredients placed inside and folded correct? It is indeed most delightful to eat yes?” She smiled and took another bite of the omelet Robin made for her, savoring every second. I chuckle slightly having to fight the urge to outright laugh at her innocence and at the clear mispronunciation. I am careful with correcting her vocabulary. Sometimes she is sensitive with corrections and feels like she is not smart with the language. However, I loved explaining little things to her and watching her eyes light up with understanding. Not that I would tell her that, even now that we are together. I have problems expressing my feelings having worked with Batman for so long. I’m just now starting to loosen up with them but sometimes Starfire gives me this look that makes me want to bear my soul and never look back.   
I smiled at her taking notice of her expression and replied “It’s pronounced omelet Star. I’m really glad you like it. I used to eat one almost every day.” She nodded briefly at the correction, muttering the word under her breath, and then sighed at the realization that she had finished hers very quickly whilst I still had half a plate. Her eyes practically begged for more but when she turned her head to look up at me any trace of sadness vanished instantly, replaced with a dazzling smile. “What did you put in the omelet? I wish to know in case I wish to do the making of them myself. It was indeed quite enjoyable and I only wish I had chosen to ingest mine a bit slower.” I couldn’t stop myself and laughed at how cute she looked staring down at her empty plate once more. Her head snapped up to look at me when she heard my laugh and I spoke quickly to avoid offense being taken. “I will make you another one as soon as I am done. I promise. Eggs are the base of any omelet. Mine had a mixture of different chesses, bacon, spinach, tomato, and onion. I made yours the same, except I put mustard inside. I know how much you love it so I figured you’d enjoy it inside the omelet as well.” I said. She perked up a bit hearing I would be willing to make another and decided to change the subject to show me she was not upset at my laughter. “So, Robin. What would you like to do today together? Maybe we could journey to the mall of shopping, or perhaps we can go to our favorite park and enjoy the outing. Truthfully I care not what we do as long as we do it together.” She said. Of course, the ‘mall of shopping’ would be brought up I thought as I finished my breakfast. “We have time to figure that out.” I said leaning over to give her a light peck on the cheek as I collected the plates. “But first I will make your other omelet.” I said with a smile. She was about to respond when suddenly a bright flashing red light and an excruciatingly loud alarm sounded through the tower. “Titans, Trouble!” I shouted setting down the plates and dashing over to the computer to find out what new or previous villain has come out of the woodworks to attack Jump City after so long.  
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Starfires’ P.O.V.  
Robin ran to the computer at the sound of the alarm. As he is typing trying to get all of the information together, I am just sitting and thinking about things. Missions these days have been few and far between but that didn’t really do the bothering of me too much. That just meant more time to spend with my friends and boyfriend Robin. However, I knew Robin was getting a little frustrated as he enjoyed the fighting of the crime and the detective work. He is not accustomed to the leisurely activities and is quite serious at most times, occasionally throwing in a joke at Beast Boys expense. Since most of the villains were defeated and Slade is no more, boyfriend Robin has been quite the happy to do the spending of the time together. He has become more relaxed and wishes to partake in the activities of the Earthly mating rituals with more frequency such as the ‘dates’ and the ‘making of the out’ as he calls it. I do remember a moment after we became a couple when robin first began our more public displays of affection such as holding my hand and giving me light pecks in front of the others. He had asked me if I could meet him on the roof a few months after we had done the getting together. Friend Cyborg told me I should ask Boyfriend Robin if he wished to partake in the act of the ‘Hanky Panky’ as he had called it. Having not understood I asked Cyborg what he had meant and, well, what followed was a very interesting conversation. One that went bad very quickly. I was so upset I didn’t talk to anyone but Raven for a week until they all came to me to give the apologies. Robin was the last to apologize but it was most appreciated how he did. Although I never realized how one little prank on their end could go so horribly wrong for us all.  
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Flashback~  
“Hey Star? I was wondering if you could meet me up on the roof. I wanted to hang out a little and talk about some things if that’s ok with you.” Robin said shyly. “But of course, new boyfriend Robin! I would be most delighted to partake in the hanging out and the pleasant conversations with you! I was in search of a refreshing beverage to do the partaking in. Please venture up. I shall join you shortly!” I said, excited at the prospect of spending time with Robin. As he turned to head to the roof I opened the fridge to find my beverage. Naturally upon opening the refrigerator my eyes immediately fell on my most favorite beverage. The tangy yet delightful mustard. However not long after Robin and I became the ‘couple’ as he calls it, I discovered that the drinking of mustard is in fact most peculiar on this planet and that mustard is what is called, I believe the word is the condiment. Meaning it is not to be drunk as a beverage but merely placed upon certain foods as to enhance the flavors. Robin had never told me this before as he insists it does not do the bothering of him, however I did receive many of the shocked and disgusted glances of other patrons at the restaurant who looked upon my drinking of the mustard in horror. Having discovered this, in an effort to blend in and not make boyfriend Robin give me the same glances, I have decided to only partake in the drinking of the mustard in private and have resorted to doing the drinking of the more common earthly refreshments. In this particular instance I have decided upon the drinking of the Lemonade as it is most tart and does indeed do the quenching of my thirst.  
Reaching in the refrigerator I grabbed a can of the Lemonade and proceeded to shut the door in order to make my way to the boy wonder. Lost in the thinking of what Robin wishes to speak to me about I jerked my head at the sound of someone doing the clearing of the throat. I immediately looked up and locked eyes with the Titans resident Mechanic and the green eyes of his favorite video game partner. Noticing a strange look upon their faces I decided to pause and question the two briefly about what was clearly on their minds. “Friends Cyborg and Beast Boy. Is there something wrong? Did you wish to speak to me or were you merely alerting me to your presence for a greeting?” I asked confused at their intense stares. “No Star” Cyborg said, “I was just wonderin’ what was up with wonder boy looking so awkward. Everything alright with you two?” He asked pondering something. “Oh. I was worried something was the up considering your facial expressions. No friends, do not fear. Boyfriend Robin and I are indeed very much the ‘o’ and the ‘kay’. He merely expressed a wish to have the alone time and to commence in the ‘couples activities’ as I believe they are called. I appreciate the worry but do not be concerned friends.” I said happily, perking up at the fact that they were just worried about Robin and I’s relationship. They really are great friends. All of a sudden Cyborgs face changed into one I have not recognized on him. I had seen it on Beast Boy when he pulled the pranks, but never on Cyborg so I assumed it was for a different reason. He smirked and asked in a wary but also excited tone of voice, “So Star…. Does that mean you and Robin are planning on having some Hanky Panky time?” He asked, trying his best to contain laughter. I was puzzled. I had heard many Earthen couple expressions such as the dating, the romance, and the making out, but this ‘Hanky Panky’ as Cyborg said, I have not heard of. “Please friends. I am most confused… What is this ‘Hanky Panky’ that you speak of? I have not heard of this earthly expression and wish not to confuse Robin. Is it another term of the earthen matting rituals like the date?” I asked wanting clarification. I did not wish to look the fool again in front of Robin….  
Beast Boy was quickly catching on to Cyborgs plan and had to fight from busting out laughing hearing her say Hanky Panky so innocently when they both new what that meant. And it was a far from innocent meaning. “Don’t worry about it Star. We’ll be happy to tell you what it means. Right Cy?” He said. “You know it BB!” Cyborg said and high fived the green changeling for picking up on his idea so quickly. That made it look far less suspicious. They know Starfire is in no way stupid. She just still has a lot to learn about earth slang and culture. “I thank you my friends. But please make with the haste so I do not keep boyfriend Robin waiting for too long.” I said with a smile. They are always doing the watching out for me. I don’t know what I would do without them.   
Robin sat on top of the tower staring out at the ocean. He was waiting as patiently as he could for Starfire but he was starting to get a little antsy. “I thought she said she just needed a drink… Maybe I’ll go get her and see what’s up.” He said clearly frustrated. He stood and stretched getting ready to head to the door. Right as he was reaching for the knob it swung open. “Greetings boyfriend Robin! I sincerely apologize for the delay in my arrival. I couldn’t quite decide what beverage I wished to consume, and then friends Beast Boy and Cyborg needed my assistance. Please do not be angry with me.” I said seeing his downcast expression. At my word of explanation, he seemed to perk up a bit. “No problem Star. I was just coming to make sure you’re alright. You want to come and sit with me and we can talk a bit?” I nodded as he reached his hand out for mine and, grasping it tightly, he pulled me behind him to the edge of the tower. As the relationship was still in its beginning stages I blushed feverishly at the gesture and allowed him to pull me behind him. We both sat fairly close in proximity and stared out at the city in silence for a moment, not looking at each other but still hand in hand.   
“Starfire…” Robin said slowly looking at me. I looked at him and could tell he was nervous. I was quite excited to see what he had to say. “Yes Robin?” I asked almost in a whisper. He took a deep breath and then looked at me intently as if making up his mind about something. “Star, I wanted to talk to you about our relationship...” He said slowly, as if testing the waters for my reaction. I gasped as tears sprung to my eyes. I knew it… Robin feels we have made the mistake and does not wish to be in the relationship any longer… How will I bear the pain of this? How will we move on? Will he wish to remain the just friends with me? I thought hastily as I started crying more heavily. Robins eyes widened behind his mask at my tears and as he was about to speak I cut him off quickly. “Please Robin… If you wish to do the breaking up with me please do the getting over with it as I do not think I can bear…” I started speaking loudly when a green gloved hand clamped itself over my mouth. “Star no! I don’t want to break up! God Star I love you too much for that. I just wanted to ask if you...” He trailed off eyes going wider as he realized what he said. Neither of us had done the exchanging of the I love yous yet and truthfully, I didn’t believe he felt that strongly for me already. The tears remained but now they were happy tears. Very happy tears.  
“Robin…” I ask trailing off slightly. “You have done the saying of the I love you. Please. Is this true? Is that how you really feel?” I ask hesitantly, still unsure if it was just a slip of the tongue. “I-I-I… Y-Yeah Star I do. I love you.” He said, a little out of breath. I squealed in excitement and threw my arms around his neck. I started crying just a bit more at his declaration knowing finally what is in his heart. “Oh Robin! I am in the love with you as well! This is most glorious!” Before he could say more I leaned off of his shoulder grabbed his face and kissed him with all of my heart. He tensed, not expecting the kiss, but soon melted into it just as much as I did. With a quick realization I jumped back with a small gasp. He looked confused but allowed me my space as I pondered something for a moment. “So wait, if you did not wish to do the breaking up and you do indeed feel the love for me than what did you wish to ask me about our relationship?” “Oh that” he said, remembering the purpose of our conversation. “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to take our relationship to the next level.” “I was informed of the moving of the levels in the romance recently! I must ask if this means that we will be commencing in the act of the Hanky Panky?” I yell excitedly while clapping my hands. As soon as the words leave my mouth Robin jerks away a blush on his cheeks looking terrified. Unfortunately, due to our close proximity to the edge of the tower, in the act of jerking back and turning such as he did, he proceeded to fall off of the edge of the tower plummeting towards the ground. He was not wearing his utility belt as he felt he had no need for it during our chat and the end result is that he had nothing to save himself. He gave a scream as he fell reaching his hand for mine. Also unfortunately, due to the multiple emotions swirling in my head like confusion and sadness from his reaction to my question, and fear and worry for his safety as he fell, I knew I couldn’t fly. Nonetheless as soon as I was unable to reach him from where I was sitting I knew what I had to do. I jumped off of the edge reaching for him. I grabbed his hand and pulled his body close to mine. I could feel his muscles relax for a moment and I knew why. He assumed I was going to just fly us back to the top. It wasn’t until I turned us over, shielding his body from the impact that he realized I wasn’t going to start flying and tensed once more. I could feel his body shift in an effort to flip us back so he could protect me but I held him using my strength to ensure his safety. I could feel him take in a breath ready to yell out to me but it was far too late. I hit the ground with the full force of our weight and gravity with nothing to shield my body from the hard rocks. I hit the ground and I felt intense pain. I almost felt like I was dying. I opened my eyes having shut them to brace myself and saw Robins panic-stricken face. He kept screaming for help and picked me up in his arms. As soon as he shifted my body I felt immense pain. I screamed in agony and then fell into unconsciousness from the pain.   
As soon as I woke I knew I was in the infirmary. I opened my eyes to see Robin standing over me with tears in his eyes. “Robin…” I croaked out. My throat felt like it was on fire and breathing hurt. “Starfire… I-I’m so s-s-sorry I-I didn’t…” He started to try to talk but he couldn’t. I could tell he was shaken. “Robin. It is ok. I am sorry for assuming that the movement of our relationship levels would change anything, If I hadn’t spoken you would not have jerked away so violently and would not have fallen… I have put your life in danger and do not deserve your love. I am truly sorry.” I said softly. I could feel every muscle in my body scream out in pain as I tried to shift. Suddenly the door swished open revealing the other three titans’ forlorn expressions. “Starfire. Please stop moving so much. You’ve broken a lot of bones and damaged some internal organs. It’s going to take at least a week to heal properly even with your advanced healing physiology and my healing powers. You took a pretty nasty fall. Why didn’t you fly Starfire?” Raven asked worry in her voice and slight fear in her eyes. “Do not worry yourself friends. I did not loose my powers. I merely was feeling too many emotions to use my flight. If you remember Raven back when we did the switching of our bodies I told you I needed to feel unbridled joy to fly. All I felt in the moment however was fear, confusion, and sadness…” I said starting to choke up a bit with my feelings. Their eyes widened respectively as they all took in my words. “So, your feelings affect your powers. All of them?” Beast Boy asked with slight worry and confusion. “Yes. You are correct friend Beast Boy. Different powers of mine indeed require the different emotions. Any other feelings if felt strongly enough will render my powers useless.” I said quickly hoping for a change of subject.   
“But Star, why were you feeling all of those feelings? Fear, sadness, and confusion. You were up there with Robin so why all of the negative feelings? Did he do something?” Cyborg asked looking angrily at the boy wonder. “No friends. I did. I had done the asking of the question at what I believed to be the appropriate moment, but Robin rejected my advances and pulled away causing him to fall. The act of him pulling away is what gave me the sadness. Confusion was because I did not understand the need for such a violent reaction to my question, and I had an overwhelming sense of fear when you fell. Having not seen your utility belt I knew you wouldn’t survive, so I knew that even if I could not fly us to safety maybe I could shield you enough that you wouldn’t be injured and I prayed to X’hal for my survival. However, I can see by your bandages that I was unsuccessful in protecting you from harm boyfriend Robin. I apologize…” I said as tears once again sprung to my eyes at the thought of my failed attempt to save robin. “Star. I just broke my arm and bruised some ribs. I’ll be ok. I would’ve died if you hadn’t done what you did… I can’t believe you threw yourself off of a building knowing you couldn’t fly and might not have made it just to protect me….” Robin said. The sound of his voice cracking made everyone look at him and we all could tell he had tears of his own beginning to form. “Of course, Robin. I love you. And I thought you loved me just as much but seeing your reaction back there leaves me confused and sad still. Why did you jerk away from me so?” I asked, my voice reaching barely above a whisper. Robins eyes widen at the memories and he clears his throat and looks at everyone else. “Guys. Can you give us a minute alone please?” He asked. Everyone looked at each other skeptically but nodded and proceeded out nonetheless.  
“Starfire. Why did you ask me that question? Where did you even pick up that term? I mean we’ve only been together for 5 months and I am certainly not ready for THAT, and I didn’t think you were either.” He said, sitting down in a huff. He looked at me solemnly not wanting to confront me in my current state but feeling there was no alternative. I was starting to become angry, my voice rising an octave. “I did not do the realizing that you did not enjoy the thought of going on the romantic dates with me!” I shouted and turned away crossing my arms in frustration but soon regretting my decision when my body resisted with pain. Yes, we had been on a few dates, but not necessarily romantic ones as Robin has trouble sharing in his feelings. “What are you even talking about? Of course, I want to be romantic with you Star! What did you think I meant by next level? But what does a date have to do with what you asked me?” Robin said looking thoroughly confused. “Friends Beast Boy and Cyborg did the telling of me that the ‘Hanky Panky’ was what you asked someone to partake in when you are ready to move on in the relationship. They said it was a slang term meaning ‘romantic date’ and that I should ask you if you would like to partake. I did not realize dating me more than casually was such a problem.” I sighed and leaned back in the infirmary bed. “What?! Star. That’s not what that means! I’m sorry but I think it was a prank Star…” Robin trailed off, clenching his fists in anger and frustration. “I’m gonna KILL them! I can’t believe they would pull such a stunt! I could have died, YOU could have died. They have gone too far and I’m done with these stupid pranks. We need some new rules.” He kicked the chair he was in, chest heaving in anger, and turned to leave. “But Robin what does the ‘Hanky Panky’ actually mean? What is it that I asked you to do with me? Whatever it is I am most sorry…” He looked at me and sighed knowing he had to answer even if he didn’t want to. “Star… It’s not slang for a date. It’s slang for sex…” He said, his voice hitching at the last word. My eyes widened in horror as I realized what I propositioned. Tears came flowing down my face as my body wracked with sobs. I knew crying would hurt my body worse and yet I could not stop. All I could picture when he said that word was the Citadel... My torture… My Master… I blacked out.  
~End Flashback~  
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AN: Not sure if that was a long chapter or not but it felt like it was. I’m on 9 pages now so I think this is a good stopping point for me. Hope everyone likes it and feel free to comment any critiques. Also, what does anyone think about me writing a one-shot as a continuation and preview to the flashback story? Let me know in the comments. Thank you.


	3. Chapter 2 Trouble and Disappearing act

Chapter 3 Trouble and Despair  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. If I did, I would be very happy with myself but the audience would hate me. 😊  
Warning: Descriptions of violence. Not 100% Sure where I am going with this yet so can’t really warn for everything.  
Anyhow. On to the chapter.  
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Robins’ P.O.V.  
I started typing vigorously on the computer, anxious to get back into action after such an extensive break. Oh man… I missed hero work so much I’m actually excited for a new villain. What is wrong with me? They could hurt someone. I may be losing it a little. I thought as I read the screen slowly, processing the information for our newest mission. I looked at the team to tell them what we are facing, only to see a slight eagerness on everyone’s face. At least it’s not just me. “Titans! There is a report of a break in at a warehouse near the docks. Let’s move out.” I said hastily, rushing to the door ready for action. Looking behind me for a moment I noticed Starfire had not moved from staring at the screen. “Starfire! Let’s go!” I yelled as I turned and ran out the door. She shook her head, turned quickly and followed me on foot.  
Once I got to the garage, we all decided to pile into the T car this time as it was a simple break in and shouldn’t take too long. “Hey Star?” Beast Boy asked quietly as Cyborg peeled out of the garage at record speed. “Yes, Beast Boy?” She asked equally as quiet. I was confused as to why he was whispering but soon would discover it was to keep me out of the conversation. “You saw the report, right?” He asked. “Yes, I did the reading of it. What ails you Beast Boy?” She asked, concern taking over her previously vacant expression. “Did the report say who broke in? Was anyone spotted?” He asked cautiously. “No. I do not believe it contained such information and merely stated a break in had occurred. Why?” She asked slowly fearing his thoughts as she believed them similar to her own. “It’s just… anytime we had to go to the docks before…. It was always… You don’t think it’s him, do you?” He asked tentatively with a worried expression. I tensed realizing who he was talking about but tried not to make it too obvious I was listening. “Friend Beast Boy,” She said in a calm voice. “Do not fear. Slade was merely a skeleton resurrected by Trigon. Robin assured us that he wouldn’t be able to survive once Trigon was defeated. As soon as Trigon perished after he helped us in that final battle, he disappeared as well. Remember?” He sighed and still looked troubled but said thank you to Starfire anyway. No way he could have survived. Trigon resurrected him and I’m sure after Slade helped fight him, Trigon took his skeleton back to hell…. Or at least, I hope…   
We arrived at the warehouse within minutes. As we clamored out of the car, all was silent between the titans as they prepared themselves mentally for the upcoming battle. They saw the warehouse door was opened looked to me to give instructions as to a plan. “Ok everyone, single file formation. No one attack until I give the signal or you are in danger. Ready?” I asked. They all nodded. As I walked forward and took the lead, Cy came up behind me. Next was Starfire, Beast Boy, and Raven. We came up with this formation after a battle with Slade underground. I’m in the front just in case someone attacks from the front and so I can be the first to see and give direction. Next is Cyborg, since he has different sorts of vision options for his eye, he can sense for heartbeats, and he has a light to help guide us. Then Star because she can shoot long distance and fly to help either the front or back group if we got split for whatever reason. Then Beast Boy so he could be there to assist Raven in case of an attack from the rear, and to shield him so he has time to morph in case of frontal attacks. Finally, Raven, who can protect the group with a shield if we are attacked from behind and because she can help protect Beast Boy in case of separation. This was the perfect defensive set up for the team going into unknown situations and I was pretty proud for coming up with it.  
As we progressed further into the room, I noticed it was very quiet. As we reached the center of the room I paused. I thought I saw something move in the shadows but was unsure. I put up my hand signaling them all to stop. As I took a quick look around, I realized it was too dark to see. “Hey Cy. Give me some light over there.” I said and pointed over to the left of us. As he pulled his light up all of a sudden, the warehouse lights turned on. We all jerked back from the sudden brightness and as our eyes adjusted, realized we were surrounded. I gasped as I realized the gravity of the situation seeing the familiar black and orange suits with that trademark symbol. I wanted to scream, cry, and destroy everything all at the same time. I could feel myself getting colder, hardening, like ice. “Impossible…” I said, breathless and dazed. My attention was snapped back into focus as I heard him chuckling. A deep throaty noise that I thought would only remain in my nightmares. “Actually Robin, it is far more possible than you think.” He said with a laugh. My head whipped around to face his direction. I could feel a growl starting in my chest. “Slade!” I screamed in anger. He looked on at me as if amused by my plight. “That’s right Titans. I’m back.” He said, clearly reveling in the shocked expressions on our faces. “Titans GO!” I screamed loudly not wanting to hear his taunting explanation. As soon as we moved Slades’ robots came after us.  
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Starfire’s P.O.V.  
I heard Robin scream and leapt into action. I flew up high so I could get a better view and started throwing my star bolts at the henchmen below. There are so many… I don’t think we’ve ever fought this many. And why did Slade return. I am most confused. I cannot let myself get upset because my powers will fail me… Only Raven knows about this and I do not want Robin to discover this as he may kick me off of the team if he believes I am a liability. I must focus. I continue blasting at the robots and flying above my friends spotting where help is needed most. I see Robin struggling to break free of the pack that has surrounded him to chase after Slade. He jumps up and starts running on top of their heads when he is struck with something and falls onto one of the henchmen. I gasp as I see Robins shoulder bleeding from the blade that was thrown at him. “No cheating Robin.” Slade said with vigor. “Clearly I must set some ground rules.” He said as he threw a few silver balls down towards the mass of robots and Titans. All of a sudden smoke poured into the area making it impossible to see for any of them. “Starfire!” Robin shouted from within the smoke, grunting as he kicked his next target. “I know you’re flying! GET SLADE! GO!!” He screamed over the chaos. I immediately rose over the smoke, only to see Slade disappearing through a door at the rear end. “No you do NOT!” I screamed flying quickly after him giving him chase. He saw me chasing and kept running through the warehouse. I sped forward and felt something drop from my person but knew I had no time to turn back. Next thing I know we are in the alley and he is diving into the sewers. Why must it always be in the place with the smelly water… I thought as I hurried after him. I felt guilty leaving my friends behind but did not want to disappoint Boyfriend Robin. All I could do was hope I caught up to our greatest enemy and that my friends will remain safe.  
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Robin’s P.O.V.  
“Starfire!” I shouted from within the smoke as I kicked the robot coming at me. “I know you’re flying! GET SLADE! GO!!” I screamed as I continued fighting, not quite able to see. Under normal circumstances, I in no way would send anyone after a Villain alone, least of all Starfire. But Slade always gets under my skin. Usually I would chase after him myself but I was injured and can’t completely see what I’m doing. I know Starfire can handle herself and we can’t let Slade escape again. “No you do NOT!” I hear her shout among the grunts of fighting and metal being thrown. That’s my girl I thought quickly knowing she has rushed after Slade. All of a sudden, I heard Beast Boy scream out in pain. “Beast Boy!” Raven screamed! Then I heard her shout in pain. I knew the truth of the matter then. We were losing. Badly...  
“Titans,” I yelled as loudly as I could, wincing as I turned and moved my injured shoulder as I dodged yet another metal hand. “Fall back! Titans, RUN!” I yelled and turned on my heels as I ran for the glowing exit sign barely visible within the smoke. I burst through the door coughing as my lungs burned inhaling the clean, crisp air no longer smoke infested. I ran over to the wall opposite the warehouse and sat for a moment in fear that my friends had either not heard or not survived Slade’s attack. Next thing I know I see Cyborg running out carrying an injured Beast Boy and Raven levitating at their heels. They immediately spotted me and ran to my position. “Robin!” Cyborg yelled. He made it over to me and set Beast Boy down beside me. “Man, that was the craziest ambush! I never thought we’d get out of there!” He yelled looking at his injured friends. “I know. We weren’t prepared to fight an army… I’m sorry. I led you all blindly into danger. We all got hurt… I’m sorry.” I said, trying to fight back tears knowing my frustration has reached new heights. “That’s nice and all Robin, but has anyone else wondered why the robot dudes haven’t chased us out? And where’s Star?” Beast Boy said quickly. All three of them looked around worriedly and I cleared my throat. “Well…. Uh…. I-I kind of… Sent her to chase Slade…” I said stumbling over my words realizing the stupidity of my decision as I saw horror flash across their faces. “You WHAT??!!” They all shouted in unison.  
“I know it was stupid but she’s still in there. I don’t know why the robots haven’t followed us yet but whatever the reason we need to get back in there and help Starfire.” I said firmly before I could be yelled at any further. “Cyborg! Check for her communicator and see which part of the warehouse she’s in and we’ll go help.” I said looking at the robotic teen in front of me. “I found her signal! She’s in the hall right outside the main room.” He said quickly. “All right Titans, let’s-” I started to say go but was cut off by a loud explosion that rocked the warehouse. I looked up in horror as did my friends as a black shield enveloped us to keep debris from harming us farther. The whole warehouse was engulfed in flames within seconds. “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! STAAAAARRRRFIIIIIIIIRRRREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed as I ran up to the black barrier blocking my path. “RAVEN! LET ME OUT!” I screamed as I looked upon the blazing building. “Robin! You can’t just run into a burning building!” She yelled as her voice cracked. I knew she was right but I didn’t care. “Raven please! Starfire is in there!!! I HAVE TO GET HER OUT!!! LET ME OUT!” I screamed as I rammed my shoulder into the black wall. “Robin I-” Raven started but never finished as the warehouse collapsed into a fiery pile of burning rubble. The once tall warehouse building lay flat as the fire department arrived to put out the blaze. “No….” I whispered sinking to my knees in horror. My mind was getting fuzzy as hot tears poured down my face. I sobbed loudly in agony, not caring who heard me. I felt hands touch my shoulders and could hear my friends crying with me as I sobbed, no longer held within the black aura’s protection. I ripped off my mask and threw it aside not presently feeling worthy of a hero’s title, and watched the firefighters attempt to put out the blaze. I heard my friends shocked gasps as they realized I took my mask off but I didn’t care. I was crying harshly with the same chain of thought in my head playing over and over like a broken record. I killed her. I killed Starfire. I sent her after Slade. My fault… All my fault…. Dead…. Suddenly the world went black and I felt myself falling. I knew this was it. She was gone. This was the moment when the world fell apart for me.  
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Raven’s P.O.V.  
“Yo! What just happened to Robin!” cried Cyborg as he reached his arm out to catch the unconscious Boy Wonder. He cradled Robin in his metal arms as if the leader was a small baby. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I had to knock him out. You saw how he was and we don’t need to lose two team members tonight.” I said quietly my voice breaking on the word two. They both nodded in understanding, tears present in their eyes. “You guys go back to the Tower please and put Robin in the infirmary. I will join you shortly. He should stay out until I return.” “What are you waiting here for Rae?” Beast Boy asked sadly. I hated when he called me that but had no energy to argue. “Confirmation.” I said curtly, walking off to talk to a fireman as both boys nodded their heads in sad understanding and turned to leave. I felt the heat from the blaze as I approached. “Sorry miss but you shouldn’t get any closer. This is a pretty bad fire.” I looked over to see who had talked to me. A young fireman approached me. He looked to be about 25 and had short brown hair and light green eyes. Green eyes huh… I thought with a small tear, which I quickly tried to stop as I heard a lightbulb behind me shatter. “Oh wait. You’re Raven from the Teen Titans! I didn’t even realize- Hey are you ok? You look a little shaken.” He said softly looking over me quickly. “Please...” I said in a broken voice. “Can you help me?” I asked quickly. “Well yeah, sure. Anything for a Titan. What’s wrong?” he asked seeing the hint of emotion cross my face. “We were in that building fighting a villain… Fighting Slade… and one of us… Starfire… we don’t think she…” I said as I started choking on the sadness as I realized once more that this was real. “Oh God. You think she was still inside? I’ll radio the team, let them know to look out for her as they search once the fire is out.” “Thank you.” I said weakly, collapsing to my knees as he reached for his radio. “Everyone! This is Mike over here! We have a situation…”  
I sat in the same spot, Mike sitting next to me (with permission from his superior), watching as the whole team sifted through the ashes. Suddenly, I heard one of them shout “I found something!” My head snapped up as I watched them rush over to the one man. I watched as they all looked at where he pointed, also watched as they all closed their eyes in sadness and took of their hats. One of them started pointing and giving instructions to the others. They all started scrambling around as he took something off the ground and walked over to me slowly. “Miss Raven… On behalf of the Jump City Fire Department I would like to offer my sincerest condolences. She was amazing. I am truly sorry…” He said as he held something out to me. I started shaking as I looked in his hand to see what I was terrified would be there. I saw it and broke. I was shattered. I grabbed onto it clutching my chest and crying like a small child as all the lightbulbs in the area shattered. Both the men looked to me as I held onto it and cried, a deep sadness in their eyes. I gripped tighter and tighter knowing for sure now. As I held Starfire’s singed communicator, I knew she was dead…. I have to tell them I thought weekly as I let Mike lead me to the firetruck as they offered to take me home.  
I listened as they talked to me in the truck. My tears stopped but the pain hadn’t. I listened but didn’t completely hear. He told me they found a body. To badly burned for the face to be recognized but the fire proof uniform we gave Star was easily recognizable even with the cuts. They took the body to the nearest Funeral Home and I nodded. It was all I could do. “I am the Chief of Jump City’s Fire department. My name is Joshua McGee. On behalf of my department we would love to pay for the Funeral Services for Miss Starfire if you don’t mind. She was a Hero and deserves a Hero’s send off. She saved my niece once from a Bank Robber. It’s the least we could do.” He said looking over at me. I just nodded and said okay. He knew I wasn’t up to talking so simply said he would meet me at the Funeral Home tomorrow to discuss everything if that was okay. I swiftly nodded and said a quick thanks as I left the truck and made my way across the ocean to the Big T.  
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Cyborg’s P.O.V.  
I returned to the tower quickly, carrying Robin to the infirmary. Beast Boy sat in the waiting room silently crying as I set Robin down gently on the bed. I started hooking him up to the monitoring system and then ran an IV to get some fluids in him and a mild sedative so he didn’t wake up before Raven got back. Then I walked out of the room and sat next to Beast Boy. “Dude… You don’t think she’s really gone…. Do you? She had to have made it out right?” BB asked choking up a little at the thought of losing the happiest person they had ever met. “I don’t really know man. All I know is Raven is staying to check to see if Star is in the building…” I said trailing off. We sat in silence for about an hour or so. We both kept thinking of Star. “What are we gonna do BB?” I asked sadly. His head jerked to face me as he looked at me solemnly. “I don’t know Cy… Robin is pretty much comatose and clearly mentally unstable, Raven has shut down, and Star….” He said not able to continue as we both know what probably happened to Star. “You ‘member when she went into the future? She saw all of us separated by the Rek-whatevers and she said it was because she was gone. Here I assumed when she came back the future would change but clearly that was what was meant to be… She wasn’t gone because of warp... She died…” I said letting a tear flow. “No man. We can’t do that! We can’t split up! You know how sad she was to see us separated. We can’t do that to her memory. It’s up to us to try and keep this team together. For Starfire.” Beast Boy said with determination. I knew he was right. That whole day after Star came back from the future was really hard for her as she kept telling us how bad it hurt that she was the reason the team tore apart.   
All of a sudden, the door swooshed open. Raven walked in with the saddest look I knew she could manage without bringing the whole tower down. “They found this…. And a body.” Was all she said but we knew what it meant as we all looked at the burned yellow disk. “She’s really gone…” I said breathless, feeling as if the wind had been torn from my lungs. Beast Boy steeled himself and picked it up with a hard look. He stared at it for a moment and finally he nodded as if deciding something. “We have to stay together for Star. No matter what.” He said as he looked at them with a fire in his eyes and a seriousness, they had never seen from him. He put his hand in the middle of the three and asked “Promise?” Raven and I exchanged glances. “Promise.” We both said sadly. Things would never be the same without Star but we needed each other now more than ever.  
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Robin’s P.O.V.  
I opened my eyes slowly and shifted in the bed to look at my surroundings. I winced as I felt the pain in my shoulder. I’m in the infirmary…. What happened? Why don’t I remember…. There was an explosion… But then what…. I thought looking for any sign of my friends. I saw two shadows just outside the door and could hear some level of mumbling. I decided to listen in on the conversation knowing my team spoke differently when I wasn’t around. As I edged up to the door the speaking got clearer. “No man. We can’t do that! We can’t split up! You know how sad she was to see us separated. We can’t do that to her memory. It’s up to us to try and keep this team together.” Beast Boy said. He said something else but I was so deep in thought I stopped listening. Why would we split up? Who would be sad? Whose memory are we preserving? I’ve never heard Beast Boy speak so seriously. Something happened but why can’t I remember what it was…   
All of a sudden, a door swished open pulling me out of my thoughts. I heard Raven’s sad voice say “They found this…. And a Body.” Whose Body? “She’s really gone…” I heard Cyborg say breathlessly. Who is gone? Will someone say a name so I can hear! I thought. Suddenly my body started shivering as if trying to reject something or as if all the life was sucked out from the world. All of a sudden, my brain kept screaming at me. Don’t say it, Don’t Say It, Don’t SAY IT, NoNoNONONONONONONO! DON’T LISTEN TO THE NAME! But despite myself I was frozen to the ground, ear pressed to the door, waiting. Finally, Beast Boy finished the puzzle. “We have to stay together for Star. No matter what.” STARFIRE! No. She’s dead. They found a Body. I KILLED HER. I LOVE HER! No… No… NO… NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed with my entire soul as I collapsed with sobs. Everyone ran in to see me huddled by the door, quickly realizing what happened. Everyone but ONE.  
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Slade’s P.O.V.  
I made it back to my hideout with few problems. I wasn’t expecting things to go so smoothly and now with only four Titans left, the rest should come easily enough. “It has begun.” I said walking farther into the shadows slowly as I laughed thinking of my next step.  
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AN: Sorry this was a shorter chapter but I felt this was a good place to end it. Please review! I will read them and potentially answer some at the end.


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